


Loud Conversations Overheard by Jason and Percy's Neighbors

by sn0wfl4k3s



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M, Set sometime in the future, they're married it's cute
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-02-27 23:10:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2710091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sn0wfl4k3s/pseuds/sn0wfl4k3s
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason and Percy yell quite a bit, causing their neighbors to overhear some interesting conversations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Last Minute Dinner

“PERCY WE’VE GOT FIVE MINUTES TO COOK AN ENTIRE MEAL BEFORE THE GANG COMES OVER TIME TO BREAK OUT THE FLAMETHROWER.”

“Why do we even have this?”

“IT WAS A WEDDING GIFT NOW GET TORCHING!"

* * *

 

“THIS CHICKEN IS SO DRY IT PREEMPTIVELY DIED OF THIRST. HONESTLY, YOU CALL YOURSELF THE SON OF THE SEA GOD?”

“IF I SUCK AT COOKING SO MUCH THEN WHY DON’T YOU JUST DO IT YOURSELF?”

“BECAUSE YOU’RE BAD BUT I’M WORSE, WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS.”

* * *

 

“OH MY GODS THEY JUST TEXTED THEY’RE ON THEIR WAY.”

“DO WE EVEN HAVE ANY VEGETABLES?”

“OH MY GOD PIPER’S VEGETARIAN HOW COULD WE FORGET SHE’S VEGETARIAN MICROWAVE SOME PEAS!"

“SHE CAN’T JUST EAT PEAS, JACKSON.”

* * *

 

“CRAP WAS THAT A KNOCK? DID YOU JUST HEAR A KNOCK?”

“NO, THAT WAS ME BANGING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL.”

* * *

 

“WHERE ARE THE CARROTS?”

“I PUT THEM IN THE SINK.”

“WHY WOULD YOU PUT THEM IN THE SINK I DIDN’T- OH MY GOD THEY’RE HERE. PERCY, START PRAYING TO EVERY GOD THAT DOESN’T HATE US.”

“THOSE ARE SOME SLIM PICKINGS, JASON.”


	2. Mythomagic Stats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason and Percy decide to make their own mythomagic cards.

 “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE TRYING TO GIVE ME 500 ATTACK DAMAGE.”

“WELL YOU SAID I WAS ‘HIGHLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO RENDER UNCONSCIOUS’ SO WE’RE EVEN.”

“THAT’S NOT HOW THIS WORKS, GRACE, WE’RE BASING THIS ON FACTUAL EVIDENCE.”

“HOW IS ME BEING EASY TO KNOCK OUT BASED ON FACTUAL EVIDENCE?”

“DON’T EVEN TRY AND PRETEND YOU DIDN’T SPEND MOST OF THE WAR AND GAEA PASSED OUT IN THE INFIRMARY.”

* * *

 

“Hey what would you give me on speed?”

“Like a five.”

*pause*

“A FIVE OUT OF EIGHT? WHAT DOES THAT MAKE YOU, A TWO?”

“YOU AIN’T SHIT JASON. YOU AIN’T SHIT.”

“IF I HAVE TO LOSE 50 POINTS OF HEALTH EVERY TIME A BRICK IS INVOLVED THEN YOU HAVE TO BE SUSCEPTIBLE TO ‘FALL INTO A STUPID TRAP THAT EASILY COULD’VE BEEN AVOIDED IF YOU HAD A BRAIN’.”

“THAT’S NOT EVEN A THING!”

“WELL IT IS NOW AND IT’S GOING ON YOUR CARD.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I regret deciding to put these on here.


	3. MarioKart Probably

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what does it sound like? it is that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still can't believe this got so many views/kudos/bookmarks like all it is is dialogue you people are too kind

“Hey wanna play MarioKart?”

“Are you sure you’re prepared for this?"

“Wha-“

“ARE YOU SURE YOU’RE PREPARED FOR THIS PERCY.”

* * *

 

“Why are you so quiet during games like this man?”

“I’M NOT HERE TO TALK, JACKSON. I’M HERE TO WIN.”

“Don’t you thROW THAT JASON NO!”

“SUCK ON MY BLUE SHELL, BITCH!”

“THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!”

* * *

 

“FUCKING YOSHI. I’VE KILLED TITANS LESS DOUCHEY THAN HIM.”

* * *

 

“WHAT THE HELL PERCY?”

“OH WHAT’S THAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY SWEET, SWEET VICTORY.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok it's short, but it was a speed round for HOOSO so you know what


End file.
